Posted by: karanoel | December 3, 2010

Seafood, sand, and safety

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

I got home at midnight from a work event where there were Catholics and wine. I love Catholics and wine. But even though it’s late and it is likely I will be very cranky tomorrow, I still need time to wind down. So you are going to serve that purpose for me. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Yes, I did go on a date last night. As lame as this may sound, my first response is pride in myself. It reminds me of my first thought after giving birth to Cole – a rather self-focused “I did it!” You have to admit, childbirth is a daunting task. As are first dates.

That said, I am happy to report that it was a lovely evening with a great guy. There was red wine, Chilean sea bass, chocolate soufflé, honest conversation overlooking a dark sea, and bare feet in cold sand. I was treated well and valued. This is new. Well, maybe not being valued. But being able to receive it.

When I lived in Colorado, a favorite neighbor rescued a dog that was being severely abused. When I went over to meet the dog, she would not come close enough to be pet or even lift her head enough to show her eyes. I pictured her swiftly responding to Bill’s kindness, and was shocked at the extent of love required to penetrate the damage.

I have not been as innocent as that dog, but can relate to the depth of brokenness I saw in her and the extent to which God has shown kindness to penetrate my hurt and shame. It has not been a quick process because even his love had to be measured in the tiny doses I could receive. But I saw something in myself last night that revealed the fruit of his patience and unrelenting compassion.

The night ended with plans for another date and a friendly hug. I truly don’t know if this will go anywhere, but I am walking forward slowly, being led by peace, and trusting that the God who brought me this far won’t abandon me now.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: