where waves grow sweet

For the past month or so, I’ve had 5 words stuck in my head. They are from a conversation in Exodus after God has revealed Himself to Moses through the burning bush and is explaining how He will use this Israelite-baby-turned-Egyptian-prince-turned-Midianite-shepherd to free the suffering Israelites from bondage to the Egyptians. There’s a bit of back and forth between the two, with Moses asking very reasonable questions like, “Who am I that I should do this thing?” God seems more interested in repeating who He is and emphasizing that He will be with Moses, rather than listing any particular qualifications His very insecure human friend may possess.

When they get to the part where Moses asks God what to do if the Israelites don’t believe He was sent by God, he gets this response… the one that has been echoing in my mind… “What is in your hand?” As you probably know, it’s nothing impressive like a magic wand or even courage. It’s an ordinary shepherd’s staff. Under normal circumstances, that is. But under God’s power, it becomes a snake that serves as a sign that Moses has indeed been with God.

God provides a few other signs to use, but Moses is not convinced. He has some serious concerns because of a deficiency in his ability to communicate, by which he thoroughly disqualifies himself and pleads with God to choose someone else. God immediately re-qualifies him with this rather strong response,  “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses will not have it, so his brother Aaron is sent to accompany him as a mouthpiece.

There are so many things going on here I would love to chat about, like what would have happened if Moses had trusted God to help him speak? But let’s just leave that part of the conversation with my immense gratitude for a God who understands our fear and our weakness, and will use us in whatever capacity we are willing. Which leads me right back to those 5 words: What is in your hand?

I was on a hike this morning thinking about that question. My heart has been tender to the touch lately, hurting over Cole, so I said, “Grief is in my hand.” “I can use that,” was His quick response. And I sensed deeply that it would have been the same with any answer I gave:

“A love of writing is in my hand.”
“I can use that.”
“Fear is in my hand.”
“I can use that.”
“A desire for community is in my hand.”
“I can use that.”
“Passion is in my hand.”
“I can use that.”

I think that we tend to qualify – or disqualify – ourselves for God’s use, just as Moses did, based on how we see ourselves and what we hold in our mortal hands. And I think we tend to believe that He can only use the parts of our lives we consider to be assets. But God doesn’t see it that way. He’s not looking through our self-assessment filter and He’s not interested in combing through a list of our qualifications. He sees who He is. He says that He will be with us. He knows that whatever is in our hands will be transformed for His glory; that these ordinary lives will be used for His perfect purposes… if we will entrust them to Him who is able. It will be the proof that we have been with Him, that we have been sent by Him, that we are His. So I will leave you with this question: What is in your hand? 

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. Acts 4:13