where waves grow sweet

If you are one of the people out there who feel like there is something terribly wrong with you or with your life; so horrifically disjointed that is seems unfixable and hopeless, please take heart. I have been there.

You are spot-on about something not being right. In fact, it is very, very wrong. It is called your sin nature. You were born into it. Because of Adam, we all were. But it’s not what we were made for and somewhere deep down, we know it. Despair sets in not simply because things are so bad, but because of this unspoken awareness that there is something better than what we are experiencing; an echo in our hearts of the “more” we were created for.

I’m guessing you’ve tried to fix what is wrong, attempting to ease the tension between these two realities. And I’m guessing you’ve failed. It may sound ludicrous, but you are in an enviable position because in your struggles, you have probably hit upon the crucial truth that precedes all freedom: You are broken and you cannot fix yourself.

A heartbreaking number of people who have come to this conclusion have found depression or suicide to be the only possible response. That only makes sense if we are the sole answer to our problem, which would indeed be a hopeless situation. But what if there is Someone who resides outside the mess of our sin nature; who is not affected by its gravity and has the ability to deliver us from it?

There is. His name is Jesus. And I am proof of His ability to save. I was broken beyond repair; a tangled mess of a human being. Discouraged and hopeless; covered in shame. Every attempt to get free got me more deeply stuck in the mire of my sin. In that wretched pit, longing for something better – or just an end to the misery – I finally saw that I could not fix myself. It was a truth that had to be realized so I could see my need, but freedom itself didn’t come until I cried out to Jesus to save me. In that moment, every one of my sins was forgiven and the door to freedom swung open.

I would have settled for the “freedom” of getting rid of my bad habits and tormented thinking, but I came to find out that true freedom doesn’t just remove things; it imparts something to us and makes us whole. It is found in the presence of Jesus who releases us from the gravity of lesser things by inviting us into relationship; into the “more” we were created for.

 So instead of being instantly delivered from my bad habits – my sin behavior, Jesus delivered me from my sin nature, birthing me into the hope-abundant, righteous nature of God. It was a miracle, but I was a newborn who would have to learn to crawl and walk and speak this new language of freedom. I was a child who would have to keep looking into my Heavenly Dad’s eyes to learn my identity as loved and valued – in a world that said otherwise – no matter how many times I fell and failed. In this safe, empowering place of learning and growing, I have been transformed from a taunting echo of something true to a wholehearted reality of it.

The life I now live is impossibly beautiful; governed primarily by peace, filled with hope, and sweetly dependent on Jesus to keep it that way. So many of the sins that plagued me have fallen away, having lost their grip to the stronger pull of love and freedom. The struggles that remain are helpful reminders that I can’t fix myself and opportunities to see more restoration, more hope and more beauty from His hands. All of this is true because I was broken and I couldn’t fix myself. 

So if you find yourself in that same place, take heart. The Lord knows exactly what you are facing and He is not daunted for a moment. He will absolutely do for you what He has done for me. Let this pit you are in be the birthplace of your freedom. You will never regret it.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him. Psalm 40:1-3