Posted by: karanoel | January 8, 2019

The best is yet to come

I have a handful of half-written blog posts from the holidays that didn’t get finished amidst the flurry of people, festivities, sickness and an out-of-school kindergartener. I’m not even sure where to start, but I would love to offer up a very belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I pray that your holidays were covered by the grace of the God who is here with us, who holds our very future in His tender hands.

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The last word the Lord gave me when I was missing Cole comforted me so deeply that it didn’t feel like I would ever be sad again. Over the next few weeks, there were plenty of tears but they emanated from an awareness of God’s love for me and for Cole, and an overwhelming gratitude for His undeserved kindness. For the first time ever, I experienced a felt understanding of the significance of Christmas.

This grace extended all the way through the end of the year. And then I woke up on New Year’s morning with an achy heart and a fresh set of tears. To be without Cole at Christmas wasn’t particularly new or as hard to swallow as I thought, but to look upon a new year – and future – without the hope of seeing him here truly hurt. Sad tears have been flowing again, which of course is okay. It’s to be expected. Grief is a process and healing doesn’t usually happen all at once. But what is also to be expected is that the Lord is going to meet me here. He always does. As I have time again to get quiet and press into Him, He will not only comfort me again (and again) over Cole’s loss, but also over the damage that was done these past weeks through some very complicated and hurtful relationships we are tied to. It was a reminder that the enemy is not going to stop harassing us in other ways just because we’ve gotten such a big dose in one area. His intention is to take us down by any means possible, no matter how low down and dirty.

So I am back to the basics. I will humble myself. I will worship. I will thank God for who He is, what He has done and what He is yet to do. I will yield my will and my expectations. I will seek His truth, which is bigger than what I see or feel. I will listen to what He wants to speak and receive what He wants to give. And I will trust in this faithful God who has never failed me. Ever. I will give him this fresh year, my untold future, and let Him do what He does best: Create and redeem. Let my story be one that He writes. One of beauty, power and redemption. Friends, no matter what we face, He is enough. In Christ, the best is always yet to come.


Responses

  1. Praying for more healing and more joy this year, Kara.

    • Thank you so much Mitch. I receive that with my whole heart!


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