Posted by: karanoel | February 14, 2011

A bigger picture

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

 

So much better than a mud puddle

In a recent conversation, my boss said, “We don’t let go of something until we have a picture of something bigger.” Like all important things, I wrote it on a yellow post-it and stuffed it in my cluttered blue purse. It was a treasure to come across yesterday in the pocket that belongs to my keys and chapstick.

 

Some of the biggies I’ve struggled with are fear, self-hatred, rebellion, and addiction. I will not pretend that I’ve arrived, but holy moly, can I tell you how far I’ve come in these areas? When I was focusing on the weaknesses themselves, they grew to monstrous proportions, pursued me with burning eyes and flaming breath, took me down, and threatened me with worse if I ever challenged them again.

But they’ve lost power. Why? Because I stopped doing hand-to-hand combat with them. Instead, I took their accusations before the Lord and asked him what he had to say. He spoke the truth, which defeats lies by exposing their naked, defenseless selves. Beyond just asking him about the accusations, I started pursuing the truth of who he is, which is intricately connected to my understanding of who I am.

So what has that looked like for me? Through his word and spirit and community, I have seen a bigger picture… of a trustworthy faith instead of fear, an overcoming love instead of hatred, the freedom of obedience instead of rebellion, and resurrection power over addiction. How could these lesser things stand in light of something so blindingly pure?

I remember reading something C.S. Lewis wrote in mere Christianity. This is a poor paraphrase, but he said that we are content to forego a trip to the sea in order to play in our familiar mud puddles – because we have no understanding of how much greater the sea is. How true it is that we hold onto inferior thoughts of ourselves, God, and others because we haven’t yet had a picture of something bigger to cause us to doubt these lesser things and let them go.

I will leave you with a youtube clip of one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard: Pie Jesu by a ten year old named Jackie Evancho. The lyrics (in English) are as pure as the angelic voice.

Merciful Jesus, Merciful Jesus, Merciful Jesus, Merciful Jesus
You who take away the sins of the world
Grant them peace
Grant them everlasting peace
Lamb of god, lamb of god, lamb of god, lamb of god
You who take away the sins of the world
Grant them peace
Grant them everlasting peace
Everlasting, peace everlasting

www.youtube.com/watch?v=a14HPZvDaJM


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