Posted by: Kara Luker | November 2, 2010

A parable gone wrong

Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. Matthew 7:17

I was at a red light behind an old blue pickup truck today and noticed “You won’t get a lemon at Toyota of Orange” on the license plate holder.  Immediately, I launched into an enthusiastic mental rendition of the jingle, slightly off-key I think, complete with that special something on “orange.” I don’t think I’ve heard it in about 20 years, so it filled me with old school warmth. Those 9 words and happy tune repeated throughout the day like a song accidentally set on a loop.

The lemon now residing in my carpet fibers.

It turned out to be a perfect soundtrack to my day because a wackadoo piece of fruit growing on our tree seemed to sing “You won’t get a lemon on your lemon tree.”  That was a forced transition, I know.  But I really want to show you a picture of a lemon that was growing on our tree, and I just couldn’t make it work with some kind of parable about fruit gone bad. Believe me, I tried. Ironically, the lemon that was going to be my illustration for good fruit turned out to be kind of mushy and slightly rotten inside. I used it for lemon water anyway, in the big Baja Fresh cup Cole and I fight over, which I promptly dumped on the carpet in my bedroom.  I sopped it up but not very well, and since I remember using lemon to lighten my hair, I’m sure there will be a huge bleach splotch when the sun hits it.

I’m sure that all means something, but I’m just not feeling the “seeds that fell on good soil and rocky soil” and all that. Anyway, we have had mutant lemons in the past, and then the tree seemed to “right” itself, giving us some decent lemons that work well for stevia-sweetened lemonade and a good many other things. But it seems to have gone to the dark side again, producing fruit that reminds me of creatures from the Alien sequel I regretfully snuck into at 13. I mean, these things have fingers and tentacles and objects emerging from their innards. Without further ado, the evil lemon…


  1. Going from the beautiful prose of your journey to the beach to this wonderful piece of insane humor was perfect. If you look closely, you can almost see the madonna in the brown part. Or maybe an elephant embryo. And to think this lemon tree was a Valentine’s Day gift to Mom …

  2. Ha! The idea of the madonna in the freakazoid lemon tickled me. Maybe we can sell it on ebay. I think we’d best not read to deeply into the romantic gift aspect 🙂

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