Posted by: Kara Luker | November 28, 2023

I’m keeping these because…?

(Audio version available above)

After John wondered aloud last night about whether a bomb had exploded in our closet, I decided to finish unpacking from our Thanksgiving trip to Sacramento and sort through a collection of various items scattered on the floor. As I was putting away my UGG boots, my eyes landed on an old pair of walking shoes sitting atop my shoe rack. They were retired at least a year ago, far later than they should have been, and yet there they proudly sat as if they still possessed some level of usefulness. 

The shoes look pretty rough from the top, but the real story is told when you flip them over. The tread is almost completely gone, leaving a slick surface incapable of providing a secure footing. The heels have collapsed or disintegrated (or both), allowing any rough surface to be keenly felt through the soft layer that remains, not to mention the sticks and pebbles that get easily lodged in the holes that go all the way through the sole. And yet I kept wearing these shoes despite months of John’s hearty encouragement to replace them. Not only that, but once I finally did, I somehow deemed them worthy of keeping.

I can think of a few reasons for these odd choices. The first is the comfort of familiarity. The shoes were worn in and had clearly worked for me – to some degree – for a long while. The second is having an outdated mindset that isn’t based in my current reality. While I now have the resources to replace things that are broken down or are not serving me well, that wasn’t always the case. The third (and the primary reason for keeping the old shoes) is the perceived need for a backup in case the new ones fail.

This whole ridiculous thing got me thinking about some old habits and mindsets that are proudly sitting in the closet of my heart, as if they still possess some shred of usefulness. The one that caught my eye was the well worn coping mechanism of self-reliance. I realize that our culture places a high value on this and it may look wearable from the top, but if you flip it over, you will see the absence of tread to provide a sure footing on the slippery surfaces of this world, collapsed surfaces that can’t protect the tender parts of our lives from the rough things we will walk through and deep holes that let sharp irritants through without resistance. 

Self-reliance most certainly bears the comfort of familiarity to me and I guess you could say it “worked” to some degree for a long time, but it ultimately brought me nothing but striving, perfectionism, performance and addiction. It makes sense that I finally followed the encouragement to replace it with something new, namely dependence on a very loving God and a beautiful, growing interdependence with my community. Since then, I have found myself protected from the dangers of the roads I tread, walking in safety and in the peace that comes from trusting my “equipment.” Best decision ever! And yet, despite the vast resources now at my disposal, I still sometimes get stuck in the old mindset of my own meager, self-sufficient resources. This creates fear and the perceived need for a backup to the new way. Hence the coping mechanism sitting on the shelf… just in case. And because it’s there and I know it so well, I sometimes put it back on and feel fortified, as if this broken-down thing could give me what I need for any circumstance that comes my way.

I am seeing the absolute absurdity of holding onto this mechanism, the old mindset that produced it and the fear that drives it. It just doesn’t make sense in light of what I know now; of what I have experienced of love and provision and abundance. So I’m thinking that, by the grace of God, I am going to throw it in the trash bin next to yesterday’s scraps and yesteryear’s shoes to head to the landfill where it belongs. Is there something sitting on the shelf of your heart that might be worth throwing away too?

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

8 Comments

Posted in Life in Christ, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | October 27, 2023

Help?

Audio version of this post:

Sometimes my dog, Sunny, gets in a bind. It usually has to do with the thing she loves more than anything in the world: Her frisbee. Maybe she’s dropped it in the pool and it’s floating beyond her grasp. Maybe I’ve thrown it into a tree where a branch holds it high above her reach. Her response is always the same. She frantically tries to retrieve it while incessantly barking, her eyes fixed on the object of her desire. This is when I ask the only question in our arsenal of commands; one that was born of necessity….. “Help?”

When I first began using that word, she would continue her futile attempts, barking even louder in response to my attention so I could understand the full extent of her distress. But now when she hears it, her eyes move from her problem to me. “Yes, I do want help,” she seems to say as she stops barking and becomes still. She waits for me to do what she can’t. And I do. Every single time. 

I’ve noticed how much we – all of mankind, really – can be like Sunny in our panicked moments when something that holds value to us is out of our reach; when we feel stuck and see no way to resolve the problem or alleviate our fear and stress. How easy it is for us to make a lot of noise to express the full extent of our distress and repeatedly attempt to solve our problem in a way that hasn’t worked; that will never work. 

Problems are actually a gift that way. When our illusion of control is challenged enough for us to see that we don’t have the solution, we are forced to reckon with our weakness and inability. Will we turn our eyes to the Master who is always there beside us asking “Help?” or will we continue to strive in futility, our eyes fixed on the object of our desire? It is a question, not a command, and it is entirely up to us. 

If we do choose to turn our attention to Him, we will find peace before there has yet been a solution. Maybe not the first time around. Like with Sunny, trust takes time to build. But as we practice saying “Yes, I do want help” or “Yes, I need help,” we will come to see His provision. It may not always look like what we thought, but it will be there. Every single time. And it will forever change the way we see and operate.

We will become people who, when faced with trials, will look immediately to God to handle what we can’t because we have seen time and time again that He is able. We will lay down our struggles and become still, waiting on His solution because His reach is far higher and better than ours. We will develop compassion for others whom we might otherwise have judged for their weakness, offering undeserved kindness, because we ourselves have experienced the humble, miraculous joy of receiving help in our time of need. We will be people who will no longer be mastered by fear because our true Master has captured our vision and trust. 

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

20 Comments

Posted in Animals, Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | September 30, 2023

Purposeful design

When we bought our home four years ago, I launched whole-heartedly into gardening. It wasn’t something I’d ever done before so I was pretty clueless about which plants would work best in the soil, lighting and space that we had. What was even harder for me was being able to envision what would look the most beautiful in the different areas of our yard. So I bought a bit of every flowering thing, planting it before adding some more and then some more, resulting in a bit of an overcrowded floral circus. The whole process was a joy, but it definitely had the flair of an amateur gardener. 

Over the course of time, that has changed a little. While still an amateur, I’m increasingly drawn to the idea of self-restraint, valuing the impact of fewer colors or types of plants over the impulse to include every pretty thing I see at the nursery. Maybe, at least in part, it’s been from observing well-designed gardens that draw me in. They all seem to carry a sense of balance, beauty and purpose, established not only by the elements the designer (or gardener) chose to include, but by what they chose to leave out. Some of these gardens take my breath away by the striking play of shape and texture or the nuanced shades of a color that would have been lost with less intentional restraint. 

Recently, I was looking out at my favorite part of our whole property (one for which I can take no credit): A simple green hedge of privet and boxwood that sits beyond the pool, in front of a white fence and neighboring trees (plus a few power lines to keep it real), and something struck me. Were I to have been given the freedom to design me, I would have included something beautiful from every aisle to establish an impressive persona that used every square inch of real estate… with the flair of a true amateur who always thinks more is better. God chose instead a design of simplicity that would serve the purpose of revealing His own beauty; one with balance and harmony that I, as His creation, would have the privilege of reflecting. 

I often resented Him for this design but can see now that He wanted my life to be a resting place for the eyes of a people who have been daily assaulted by the self-glorying “more” of the world. He was very intentional about what He included in me, and very intentional about what He left out. It may not always look beautiful or complete to me, maybe because some elements are still in the process of growing in or because I’ve compared myself to others and felt lacking, but He made me and He called it good. And He’s the best of the best so who am I to argue? He also made you and called it good. So let’s rest in His design and let our lives grow into the fullness of it.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

Leave a Comment

Posted in gardening, Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | September 17, 2023

Time for a reset

After taking a beginner pickleball class through my city with a friend, I was hooked. It was social and active and outdoorsy and didn’t require too much athleticism or coordination to jump in, which was very fortunate for us. And yet there were infinite ways to improve, keeping us coming back for more, not to mention the wonderful community of other pickleball addicts – oops – players.

Pickleball videos started pushing out the dog videos and garden photos that typically fill my instagram feed. I began to accrue paraphernalia, like tennis skirts and practice nets, and my week seemed to revolve around many different friend groups that also enjoyed the sport, sometimes dictating both a morning and evening session so as not to be excluded from the fun. To complete the community aspect, several women in our neighborhood established a weekly pickleball playdate on my neighbor’s court, a highlight of our week, complete with a good workout and more laughter than we knew what to do with. Sheer heaven, if you ask me!

It’s not that I got so great at it. But I had ridiculous fun and I did improve. I also learned (probably from all those instagram videos) that there are certain shots that are crucial to understand and eventually master. Maybe the most significant of these is the reset, a dropshot that neutralizes the ball when your opponent has the advantage. It requires restraint because the tendency is to defensively whack a ball that’s coming fast at you, giving your opponent the chance to continue the onslaught before you are ready. Instead, you learn to remove the pace from the ball, softening and shortening the hit, removing their ability to “attack” you with the next ball and giving you time to get into a better position… at which point you can launch an attack of your own. It is a beautiful thing to watch. 

It’s kind of funny that pickleball illustrated this principal for me before forcing me into a real-life application. I think it’s fair to say that it was a bit much to ask my body to go from never having held a paddle to wielding one nonstop for 6 months. Even so, the tightness that developed in my right shoulder didn’t stop me for a moment. I wouldn’t be taken out that easily! When it began to morph into pain, I felt incredibly mature for passing on a few of the many opportunities presenting themselves. Well done, me! Except not so much, because what followed was a compressed nerve that radiated pain down my shoulder and arm, numbed my fingers and dramatically interrupted my life.

Pickleball wasn’t even an option. I mean, I was struggling to have grace for my daily life and family. Pain is kind of consuming like that. To my great relief, one day it seemed like I was turning a corner and I figured I’d be good to go in a few more days. Phew! But the day that followed was wretched. The pain was worse than ever and, despite every attempt to alleviate it, no relief came. Thoughts kept flying hard at me like the balls of an attack on the court. The discouragement of it getting worse; the fear it would never get better. The images of my x-rays conveying a likelihood of many more such scenarios. Growing up in a home where my dad’s back issues and chronic pain told a story I didn’t want to live. It all felt so terrifying and hopeless.

It would have been natural to return the ball just the way it came by continuing this mental conversation of fear, self-pity and discouragement. The problem is that it would fly back at me just as hard, if not harder, when I was still in a weak place. I was in no position to gain any ground. I needed a reset; a neutralizing factor that would buy me time and position me to prepare for an attack of my own. 

The best way I know to do this is through rest. I don’t mean laziness or inactivity, but a restrained and very strategic choice to take pace off the enemy’s onslaught and remove his advantage by pausing in the presence of God. It is a response to pressure rather than a reaction to it and one of the only places I know where the defensive struggles of this world can be neutralized in order to create opportunities for the offensive truth of the Kingdom. 

So I laid down in my bedroom with my face on the cold wood floor as hard, ugly tears came. With raw honesty, I poured out my struggles to the Lord. Eventually my tears quieted and so did my heart. I was entering a place of rest; this was sacred ground and I knew it. Without the urgent voices pressing in, the quiet voice of the Lord started to rise up. It became clear to me that while I had no control over my physical pain, I was under no obligation to take on discouragement or defeat. So I laid them on His altar, both then and when they tried to return. A calmness came over me; an inexplicable peace in the midst of the storm. It became clear which path of treatment I was supposed to take. It was one we had ruled out but which I now knew would be good, not only for the current pain but as a preventative measure for future issues.  

I rose from that floor at peace. The pain remained but it no longer overwhelmed me. I was not backed up against a corner trying to defend myself, but on the solid ground of God’s victorious Spirit, standing in ready position right where I belonged… or, rather, sitting in ready position because the first thing I did after that was to post a blog about grace. Well, it was about flossing and grace. It certainly wasn’t a hard-hitting treatise on either topic, but sharing the gospel that day, in any form, felt like a glorious, empowered counter attack. It was a beautiful thing to experience.

One thing that stood out to me was that the urgency this crisis created enabled me to address some long-standing problems that were otherwise easy to ignore, which definitely puts it in the ‘blessing in disguise’ category. And, really, anything that creates a trajectory toward truth is a blessing, no matter how many ugly cries it takes to get us there. 

One last note is that entering rest is a simple concept, but like that darn pickleball “reset,” I will not pretend that it is easy. And while this one happened quickly for me, that’s not always the case. I’ve had months or years of struggle over certain things to get to that place of rest where I stop defensively entertaining my struggles and move into the offensive truth of the Kingdom, but the upside is that every single time God has walked me through, it has been like a practice drill that makes each subsequent time easier and, oftentimes, quicker… and the benefits more tangible. I can’t help but think of this verse from Isaiah: “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength.'” Yes and amen. Play on, my friends.

Photo credit: TeamSnap

3 Comments

Posted in Life in Christ, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | September 12, 2023

Life in the fast lane

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I use the carpool lane when I am driving alone. It is only for a mile or two on a particular stretch of the 55 South where it gets backed up. And it is only when I am in a hurry to get somewhere. So really not that egregious, right?

My biggest justification for this choice is that I have had a non-adult child for the past 28 years (Cole was two weeks shy of 17 when Chase was born), so I feel somewhat entitled to a lifetime pass in the carpool lane. Other bits of justification include having my dog in the car. I mean, she may have fur but she is practically human. Anyone would agree, I’m sure. And there’s always the fact that Jesus lives in my heart. That’s gotta count, right? 

I could go on but we all know it’s a bunch of hogwash. It’s wrong and I know it. The problem has been that I haven’t felt strongly enough about the wrongness of it to change my ways. One such time, as I was zipping past all the slowpokes sitting in traffic, I asked the Lord to convict me in a more impactful way than a muted sense of guilt, a purely mental knowledge of wrongdoing or the potential risk of a hefty ticket (for which I’d already worked out my excuse of innocence).  

Sometime last week, I was heading down to Newport, lost in my thoughts, when I realized I was in the carpool lane. No conscious decision had been made. I was just there in the far left lane, flying along as if that is exactly where I belonged. Clearly, a deep enough groove had been formed by all the previous moments of overriding my better judgment that the natural barrier of conscious choice didn’t exist anymore. That can’t be good, I thought. Prayer answered.

I haven’t yet driven down that way by myself since then, so we will see if this actually translates into a change of action – I’ll have to keep you posted on that – but there were a couple things about this experience that served as potent reminders to me. The first is that God is a gentleman who honors the free will he delights to give us, even when it doesn’t result in choices that are ultimately best for us or others. This is a gift I often take for granted. I mean, that’s a pretty crazy level of trust.

The second is that if we repeatedly override our conscience or better judgment, it is very possible that we are tying the hands of our free will, as the natural barrier of choice gets blurred… and then erased altogether. This to me is an even better motivator than the hefty fine California doles out to carpool lane violators.

The third is how much God loves a heart that asks for truth, even in the midst of sin. He won’t turn us away, saying we’ve driven too far or too long down this road to change anything now. We are never locked in so deeply that He doesn’t provide a way back. Plus, His forgiveness for our wrongdoing is so complete that He doesn’t even keep a record of it. Who wouldn’t want to run back into the arms of a God like that?

The last, which I’m sure I will now experience, is that we are not left on our own to make the good choices He shows us. His Spirit empowers our attempts to go in the right direction, no matter how pitiful they may feel and He brings a sensitivity back to our hearts and minds so that we can hear him say, “this is the way, walk in it.” It is no wonder that David, a Biblical figure so known for his sin but paradoxically called a man after God’s own heart, penned this prayer in Psalm 139: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This is now my prayer too. I have no doubt that it will bring some surprising, transformative insights as I drive down the highway of life with my conscience in tact – and my car patiently sitting in traffic on the 55.

4 Comments

Posted in Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | September 6, 2023

Flossing and grace

For most of my 49 years on this earth, I have had teeth. And for most of my time with those teeth, dentists have been trying to get me to floss them. Despite being repeatedly informed of its value and having issues like receding gums that could benefit from the practice, flossing has always felt like a burden I had no interest in taking on. And then my beloved dentist of a decade stopped accepting my insurance.

My first appointment with my new dentist went surprisingly well. The office was bright and clean, the staff warm and efficient. My teeth were cleaned by the hygienist, Jessica, who was thorough, gentle, had a wonderfully dry sense of humor and shared dental information I actually found useful. Dare I say I actually enjoyed myself? When she asked about flossing, I mumbled as best as I could (through the hands and dental tools in my mouth) that I am a terrible, no good, very bad flosser. By that, I meant it is something that happens twice a year – at my cleanings. She said that no one does it perfectly, not even people who work in a dentist’s office. The place to start, she continued, is not thinking you have to do it every day. “Let’s just aim for a little bit more than you’re doing now and go from there.”

I’d never heard it presented like that. It sounded so darn doable; not like a burdensome obligation but like an invitation I couldn’t help but accept. I mean, if I flossed one single time before my next visit, I’d have succeeded in reaching this goal. So do you know what I did? I came home, pulled out the bag of floss picks that have been sitting beneath my sink since the beginning of time and get this, I flossed. It was fantastic. I mean, earnestly enjoyable. I put the rest of the floss in a jar on my bathroom counter and then I googled how often I can floss because why wouldn’t I want to do this multiple times a day?

I then grabbed another jar of floss, stuck it in Chase’s bathroom and rather excitedly showed him how to do it. The following night, he must have been flossing on his own without being reminded because he came out with a floss pick in one hand and a molar in the other (apparently it not only cleaned in between his teeth but helped dislodge a baby tooth). Clearly, it didn’t feel like a burden to him either – and even resulted in a couple bucks from the tooth fairy.

I’m sure this is such a riveting story that your mind is blown, but wait, there’s more. I recently started a Bible study on the book of Romans in which Paul talks a lot about the law. The law was technically a good thing; a set of rules that showed God’s people what was right and would be good for them. Kind of like flossing, but a bit more comprehensive. The problem was that no one could follow the law perfectly  – not even the religious professionals – so it constantly pointed to their failures, making it a burdensome obligation.

God was no fool. He knew His people couldn’t do it; not even the “best” of them with their noblest intentions and unceasing efforts. At the same time, He was no liar. He couldn’t say sin was good when it wasn’t. He knew the consequences they would suffer by disregarding the law. It was quite a quandary, but not really since God had a plan all along to remove the obligation they had to fulfill the law and put it on Jesus, the only sinless man who was qualified to pay the price for sin. That price of course was death and the proof of His payment was in the resurrection. 

It was kind of like insurance being canceled on our relationship with the law. That might be sad for some people because sometimes rules make us feel safe and we can pat ourselves on the back for the parts we do well. But they can never transform us from the inside out into the people we truly want to be or bring the joy we were meant to have. So this whole changeup is a blessing that sends us to the place that accepts the payment Jesus made. It not only covers every single one of our sins, big and small, for now and forever, for whoever will receive it, but actually imparts righteousness to us in the exchange. That place is called grace.

Instead of constantly pointing to our failures and piling obligations upon us, grace is like this generous, unearned invitation to enter in exactly where we’re at with whatever measure we’re able…. joyfully, because the whole burden of performance is gone. This beautiful gospel lightens our load as we set aside our failures and grab hold of God’s living, beating heart for us and all His people. Oh sure, we will be tempted to live by the law and try to measure up again (if we feel burdened, this is probably why), but once we’ve tasted grace, we can’t help but run home and live in it and bathe it and dance with it and share it. And maybe even floss with it 🙂

4 Comments

Posted in Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | September 1, 2023

A helpful shift

Since Chase, an early riser since birth, usually wakes up nearly 2 hours before he needs to leave for school, we let him have an hour of screen time before getting ready. He treasures that time before we roll out of our room, probably because it is all his, with no interruptions and no demands. This still leaves him plenty of time to eat breakfast and get ready. Well, it would be plenty of time for most people to get ready, but for Chase time just seems to slip through his hands like a pile of water.

This isn’t the worst problem ever and I honestly enjoy all the conversations he initiates in the morning when he is peppy and full of new-day energy, but his distractibility stresses me out. Not only because I want him at school on time, but because we carpool with two other families who are directly affected by his choices. I find myself keeping an eye on the clock and regularly alerting him to the diminishing minutes until his necessary departure. As you might imagine, this nagging is rather unwelcome and, in his opinion, unnecessary, so I am typically given an emphatic, “I know!!!”

Except, even though he “knows,” we sometimes find ourselves running helter skelter toward the honking car out front, with Chase grabbing shoes and socks while I shove his lunch, notebook and such into his backpack and throw it at him as he races through the front door. It’s not exactly what I’d call a peaceful start to the day. 

In a lightbulb moment last week, I remembered the importance of providing clear expectations along with a motivator so he actually wants to choose a better way. I let him know that since he is nearly 11 and old enough to watch the clock for himself, he is responsible for pacing his morning so he’s ready by the time our carpool leaves at 7:45. I will not nag or try to manage his time. If he is not ready on any given day, he will need to be completely ready the following two school days before he can enjoy his screen time, which would essentially eliminate his prized morning alone time.

I made sure he knows that this is not a punishment, but a way to shift things in a positive direction, and there’s no shame if he “fails.” There will simply be another opportunity to try again. I also let him know that I am happy to help him in any way, including helping manage his time, if he decides he needs it.

The rest of the week felt transition-y as I was trying to end my alert system and let him handle the morning, even if it meant upsetting our carpool timing and allowing Chase to feel an uncomfortable consequence. It was surprisingly difficult for me! The weekend seemed to wash things clean like a good rain and Monday morning felt delightful for reasons I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Maybe because I was just enjoying Chase and not being so controlling? I was shocked to realize that he was completely ready ahead of our carpool. When I voiced my surprise, he said, “Well what do you expect when I have that consequence hanging over my head??” And then he added, “Well played, mom. Well played.” 

The rest of the week followed suit. It was restful and joyful. While I have been tempted to point to the clock (like this morning when he’d been sitting in front of his food for a full 10 minutes without taking a single bite), I’ve held my tongue, let go and enjoyed our time together. He has been on time – or early – every single day. Who would’ve thought?!

I think as adults we too can succumb to our weaknesses, oblivious to how our choices are affecting the people around us or being okay with solutions that aren’t exactly peaceable. Maybe like Chase, “we know!!!,” but not in a way that actually translates to our actions. And yet we don’t want to be managed… and definitely not micromanaged. Maybe it means we are ready to grow into something bigger and better than the space we are currently inhabiting or choices we are making. 

I believe it is in those seasons that God, a loving parent who doesn’t have my tendency to nag or control, lets us feel the weight of our choices. Not to produce guilt or shame, but to help us want to choose what’s right so we – and the people around us – will be blessed; so there will be peace instead of tension and disorder; so we can fully enjoy this life we have. He is always there with a helping hand when it turns out we don’t know as much as we thought we did or now that we realize we want something better, we can’t seem to choose it. Because He loves us and is always working to grow us into our full potential. Those around us just might be delightfully surprised by the changes that come as a result. Maybe we will be too. Who would’ve thought?!

3 Comments

Posted in Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | August 21, 2023

A joyful return

Knowing that she will get a treat if she stops barking, Sunny, our family dog, often now regulates herself without the once-necessary command and then races to find me for her reward. There are times when she doesn’t utter a single noise before her self-control sets in, but there are plenty of other times when it takes her a number of barks to remember her training and seek out her reward. Because of the latter, more frequent scenario, Chase recently told me he thought this approach was rewarding her for barking and was therefore reinforcing the opposite behavior I wanted.

The same could be said for my approach with Sunny’s affinity for dashing out the front door. I’d love to say she comes back the moment I call her, but that’s rare. More often than not, she does some zoomies around the front yards of a few neighbors, picks one to pee on and then heeds my call, at which time, despite the belated obedience, she is rewarded. 

Chase’s viewpoint is totally understandable and maybe he is right, but the way I see it is that Sunny probably isn’t going to grasp the nuances of how many barks are acceptable before choosing to stop or how much time or distance she can spend away from our front door before coming back.. yet, anyway. She needs it kept simple. If she stops barking at any point, yay! If she comes back to me, it’s a win! Her delayed obedience isn’t a cause for shame, which is an ineffectual tool that creates separation, but a reminder that she needs ongoing training which can’t help but draw us closer and reinforce what is good. But of course, she doesn’t need to know any of that… just that it is a joyful thing to return to me.

I think God takes a very similar approach with us. He doesn’t condemn us for all the things we are getting wrong or how delayed we are in the responses that bless us, others and Him, but He celebrates every single moment we choose to turn toward Him and what He has taught us. “Yay!,” He might say. “That’s a win!” There are certainly consequences that can happen as a result of our choices, just like the possibility of Sunny getting hit by a car when she’s racing around, but there is no longer any shame attached. Any poor choices simply point to an area where we lack understanding and need a bit more training, but we don’t even need to grasp that. All we need to know is that, no matter where we have been or for how long or why, there joy every time we return to Him.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

2 Comments

Posted in A journey of grief, Animals | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | August 17, 2023

Qualified

Hey friends! It’s been so long! How are you? Chase started 5th grade today and I finally have time to sift through the thoughts that have been coming and going during this lively, unstructured season.

The first words out of my mouth on my walk this morning were of thanks to God for these past few months. It wasn’t just that the sun finally came out after a very gloomy spring or that we got to spend time with a whole lot of people we love or that we got to do so many fun things. It was that I was able to enter into this season and all it contained with a sense of joy and of belonging.

You see, I’ve always had this sense that I’m disqualified from participating in life, almost as if I have to apologize for being here. Or, at the very least, contribute something of value to earn my place or prove my worth. The problem is that I’ve never felt smart enough or talented enough or good enough or brave enough to feel like I actually belong. 

And yet, here I am, in the midst of an amazing community, having done nothing to deserve it and realizing that I do belong. It’s not that I have become any of the things I felt lacking in. It’s that it’s finally sinking in that I don’t have to be those things to be worthy or enter in. I’m enough as I am. And I always was. 

This doesn’t mean I never experience the familiar anxiety of “performing well” or that the old accusation of disqualification doesn’t rear its ugly head, but those things have been dwarfed by the very real enjoyment of showing up and all the fulfillment it brings. I can’t tell you how often my soul is brought to its knees in amazement and gratitude. 

I just wanted to share that with you and thank you for being part of this community that has loved me so well. And just in case you need to hear it, you are enough too. And you always were.

It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. 1 Corinthians 3:5

Leave a Comment

Posted in Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: Kara Luker | May 15, 2023

Living Stories

Last week, Chase was grilling me about my writing to discern whether it is a job or a hobby and decide whether or not I should be allowed to do it on our family’s tech-free-Tuesdays. Since I write inconsistently and don’t get paid for it, we agreed it’s currently a hobby.

“But I’m trying to write a book,” I said, “which would make it more of a job, right?”

“Well, yeah. What’s the book about?” 

“It’s a memoir,” I explained. “I only have a little bit down on paper but lots of it written in my mind, which obviously doesn’t count.”

“Why not?”

“Well, no one can read it while it’s still in my head, right?”

“Haha, I guess not.”

Which is clearly true. While a mental seed is the necessary precursor to everything I write and sometimes I even let it grow and take shape in my mind, it still has to work its way from the inside to the outside through the sometimes-arduous writing process for others to be able to read it. 

How true that is of our lives as well. Paul tells the Corinthians: “Clearly, you are a letter from Christ… This ‘letter’ is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.” You guys, we too are a letter from Christ, written by the living God. Who wouldn’t want to read that story? 

And yet so often we let it stay on the inside where the transformative love and power of God can’t be seen and “read” by others. I don’t say this to guilt any of us into trying harder to be good people who represent God better. That just sounds exhausting and we’ll never get it right. But I think there is an important piece in surrendering to His process and allowing the radical transformation we’ve undergone by receiving His love and forgiveness to work its way first through our understanding and then outward into our lives. I can’t help but think that’s a story that people will gravitate toward. Like the way Moses was drawn to the burning bush that wasn’t consumed. 

Again, I’m not talking about being good church-going folks dressed in big smiles and our Sunday best. But about people who are so rooted in the relentless love of God that when disaster strikes, we stand in the hope that God will redeem even the worst of circumstances and use them for our good – and for the benefit of others, because His light swallows up darkness. We grow in peace when the world is falling apart around us and fear seems like the natural response because we know we are secure in our Father’s care. We take no offense when judgment or rejection come our way because we live from a place of undeniable acceptance. We reach out with compassion and self-sacrifice toward those around us, whether they are deserving or not, because we grasp the reality that we too were (and are) undeserving of the costly, boundless compassion given to us. This is the story written on our hearts by the Spirit of the Living God. This is the story we were born to tell. 

I’ll leave you with the words of Horatio Spafford who, after the death of his son and his financial ruin that resulted from the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, lost all four of his daughters in a shipwreck in the Atlantic. These are certainly not circumstances anyone would envy, and yet I think so many crave the story of unshakeable security told in this hymn he penned on the way to meet his grieving wife…

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
A song in the night, oh my soul!

2 Comments

Posted in Life in Christ | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »

Categories