Posted by: Kara Luker | April 11, 2013

Hurts so good

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above… James 1:17

pediatriticanI took Chase to the doctor when he was three months old. He seemed to be in so much pain, especially at night, making sleep elusive. No mom wants to see her child hurting, especially when her comfort proves short-lived or ineffectual. And, truly, no mom wants to wake up every hour and a half for months on end, particularly if there is some method, magic pill, incantation, or other path to rest and sanity.

Dr. Basu, our wonderful pediatrician, checked out Chase’s little body and noted his excellent health. She said, “Often what seems like pain is really a tired kid who doesn’t know how to get to sleep.” It struck me as the most profound thing I’d ever heard. Of course he was tired! He’d spent his life thus far without any considerable stretch of sleep. In the beginning, there was clearly tummy trouble and discomfort, but as I reflected on our doctor’s comment, I realized that those symptoms didn’t exist anymore. At this point, comforting him was just a habit based on what had been, and though a good thing in its rightful place, it was actually hindering him from getting what he needed now… which was sleep, not comfort.

photo (4)Our outlook was changed that day. We realized that Chase had to experience discomfort for a short time in order to have what would bless him for a long, long time. It was rough on this mama’s heart. Fears arose that I would lose his trust or damage him or make things worse for both of us. But I kept going back to what I most wanted for our little guy – to give him what he needed. So I pressed on through my own discomfort, which was probably far greater than his, and got to experience the benefits. Though it took a little while, I’m happy to report that we now have a baby who falls asleep on his own, almost always sleeps through the night, and wakes up talking and laughing. He is healthy. He is happy. He is rested. And he is loved.

I know there will be many more opportunities that will test my inclination to give Chase what comforts or pleases him, rather than what is best for him. Having raised a 17 year old son, I know this all too well. But as I (hopefully) grow in wisdom and love, I will not only be able to better discern the actual needs of my kids, but I will be able to set aside my own emotions to act in their best interest – not just for the moment, when a “yes” would make us both feel good, but for the long haul as their character and habits are formed. And I will be better able to set aside my own desires as I allow my Father in heaven to discern what is best for me and act on my behalf. He hasn’t always given me what I’ve wanted, but he has always given me what I’ve needed. I am healthy. I am happy. I am rested. And I am loved.


  1. Your journey has several markers that look awfully familiar to us, Kara–most recently, this very afternoon……………..:-)

    Hal and Cheryl

    • I can’t even imagine walking this out with two little creatures! Bless you and your household!

  2. Such a great comparison Kara! I can hardly believe that Cole is 17…….time goes so quickly! Blessings to all of you as you continue growing as a family.

    • Thanks Pam! Cole will be 18 in less than 6 months. Just can’t wrap my head around it! How are your girls doing?

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. this is excellent I am so in agreement with the whole concept it really works in growing healthy content kids. love you Janelle


    • I’m so grateful for your help in walking this out! Most definitely couldn’t have pressed on without my coach 🙂 And it has really helped me understand better how God withholds temporary comfort to give us something so much better and more lasting. It is in love. We get to be healthy content kids too.

      Sent from my iPhone

  4. Hey Kara, remember me? Kriste…and Ben…Belize? I’m so grateful that Ben remembered your blog site. For some reason I have been thinking about you and John a lot recently, so have been praying for you guys. It wasn’t until recently that I mentioned it to Ben remembering something about a blog. Anyway…here I am, and I’m so glad to see all seems well with you. Congratulations on your handsome son. I’m so excited for you and your growing family. Ben makes frequent trips to Brea for work these days. Would love to keep in touch. My email is and I’m on Facebook as Kriste Otwell Brockway. Take care and good to “see” you again. 🙂

    • Of course I remember you! What a fun treat to hear from you. I’m so impressed Ben remembered the blog site well enough to track us down. Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayer! We are doing very well – enjoying marriage, our older kids, and our new little one. We would absolutely love to see you guys – or just Ben – when you’re out this way. Would love to hear all about you and your family. I’ll shoot you an email soon. xoxo Kara

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