Hey friends! It’s been so long! How are you? Chase started 5th grade today and I finally have time to sift through the thoughts that have been coming and going during this lively, unstructured season.
The first words out of my mouth on my walk this morning were of thanks to God for these past few months. It wasn’t just that the sun finally came out after a very gloomy spring or that we got to spend time with a whole lot of people we love or that we got to do so many fun things. It was that I was able to enter into this season and all it contained with a sense of joy and of belonging.
You see, I’ve always had this sense that I’m disqualified from participating in life, almost as if I have to apologize for being here. Or, at the very least, contribute something of value to earn my place or prove my worth. The problem is that I’ve never felt smart enough or talented enough or good enough or brave enough to feel like I actually belong.
And yet, here I am, in the midst of an amazing community, having done nothing to deserve it and realizing that I do belong. It’s not that I have become any of the things I felt lacking in. It’s that it’s finally sinking in that I don’t have to be those things to be worthy or enter in. I’m enough as I am. And I always was.
This doesn’t mean I never experience the familiar anxiety of “performing well” or that the old accusation of disqualification doesn’t rear its ugly head, but those things have been dwarfed by the very real enjoyment of showing up and all the fulfillment it brings. I can’t tell you how often my soul is brought to its knees in amazement and gratitude.
I just wanted to share that with you and thank you for being part of this community that has loved me so well. And just in case you need to hear it, you are enough too. And you always were.
It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. 1 Corinthians 3:5
where waves grow sweet 
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